It’s a pretty rare occurrence to eat something that is both one of the tastiest things you’ve ever eaten and one of the healthiest things you’ve ever eaten. All my boyfriend does while eating these portobello breakfast burgers is repeat ‘oh my god’ while looking bewildered, like he had just woken up from a particularly strange dream; ‘How is it possible that anything can be this good?‘ When I originally started this post, way back on January 13th, I wrote: I know it’s a bit inane to say this, or even be thinking it, but I’m preeetty sure these portobello breakfast burgers are the best thing I’ll eat all year. Nearly a month later and it still rings true. I don’t have a pessimistic view of the future or anything, I just know it doesn’t get much better than this. And how could it?

As someone who has made hundreds of veggie burgers in her life, in every variation, believe me when I say these are on another level. The texture is worth screaming from rooftops over, they come together with ease and, like every good burger, are perfectly crispy on the outside while juicy on the inside. These portobello burgers would be right at home in a bun with ketchup and cheese, but I think they really shine as shown here, topped with poached eggs and served over a bed of kale sauteed in a mustard sauce. It’s one of the few things you can eat that loves you back just as much as you love it.

A serving of these portobello burger (just the patties, not the kale/egg), while only about 10% of your caloric intake for the day, covers 46% of your daily nutrient goals, including ones most people have to supplement since they don’t get them naturally through their diet. That’s…seriously, amazing. To contrast with another popular breakfast option, a serving of a “health” cereal like Kashi for the same calories covers about 6% your daily nutrient goals. The mixture/unformed patties stays good in the fridge for a week, so if you make a batch on the weekend, you’ll have the best breakfast imaginable ready to go all week. They take only 6 minutes to cook, meaning I’m usually just about done eating before even plunging the french press in the morning. It doesn’t get better, easier or more wonderful than this, let me tell ya.

Mushrooms are amazing for your immune system by maintaining white blood cells (the ones which find and destroy viruses), they protect your liver and kidneys, are an excellent source of antioxidants (and contain many that are onlllly found in mushrooms!), have high anti-depressant effects due to their vitamin B-6 content (which is crucial for normal brain development/function and it regulates the production of hormones that influence your mood). Mushrooms are the only thing you’ll find in the produce section of your grocery store that contains Vitamin D and not only that, but they’re the 2nd highest Vitamin D-rich food (surpassed only by cod liver oil, which, yeah, is another thing mostly just supplemented). Mushrooms are also high in CLA (conjugated linoleic acid), the presence of which is really interesting because this fatty acid is typically only found in dairy and meat. CLA is massively significant in preventing and fighting breast cancer (which one out of every eight women will get, so its importance cannot be over-stressed).

After hearing that, and always learning more about how unique they are, it’s not too surprising that fungi is more closer related to us, the animal kingdom, than it is to the plant kingdom (a big reason being that they take in oxygen and release carbon dioxide like animals, plants do the opposite). I can’t emphasize enough how cool it is getting to eat such a maddeningly interesting thing…”Living spores have been found and collected in every level of earth’s atmosphere. Mushroom spores are electron-dense and can survive in the vacuum of space. Additionally, their outer layer is actually metallic and of a purple hue, which naturally allows the spore to deflect ultraviolet light. And as if all this wasn’t remarkable enough, the outer shell of the spore is the hardest organic compound to exist in nature.”

Portobello Breakfast Burgers

(10 burgers, or 5 good sized servings)

ingredients

2 large portobello mushrooms, stems removed then cubed (about 2 cups)

2 cups chickpeas

1 cup broccoli florets

1/2 large onion

3 large eggs

1/2 cup breadcrumbs

1/8 cup seeds of choice (flax, chia, or pumpkin all work nicely)

1 tbsp smoked paprika

1 tbsp soy sauce

4 cloves garlic

1/2 cup parmesan cheese

oil of choice (I used olive), for frying

optional – eggs, poached

2 cups kale per serving, stems removed

1 tbsp mustard sauce

Roast the mushrooms at 425 for 10-15 minutes, until a lot of liquid has drained out (this concentrates/intensifies the flavor). Chop into pieces and add to food processor/blender, along with the rest of the ingredients. Blend until everything is just combined and still a bit chunky (my preferred texture. otherwise, blend until smooth if you want). If you don’t have a food processor, just dice everything and mix well. In a hot skillet, pour in enough oil to fry the patties (about 1 tbsp for 2 burgers) and cook for 3-4 minutes per side.

Optionally – sautee kale over high/medium heat with the mustard sauce, takes about 3 minutes. Top the kale with a portobello mushroom burger, and each burger with a fried or poached egg.

Mustard Sauce

(makes about 1 cup)

ingredients

2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

2 tablespoons soy sauce

1 tablespoon fresh ginger, minced

1 tablespoon shallots, minced

2 tablespoons fresh lime juice

Add all ingredients to a jar with a secure fitting lid. Shake until well combined.